I find myself having lots of judging thought. You know. “You’re too old to do that.” “No one wants to hear what you have to say.” “Your not ‘as good’ as…” Like that. But then I have to pause and really question that. Why not do what I “want?” Why not just try stuff even though you’re above a certain age. If I’m not going to have fun, explore, push the envelope now…well, when? Time no longer spreads infinitely before me. And, even leaving aside the actual moment of death there’s the whole getting to death. Sure I picture staying more-or-less the same into a “delightfully cranky” old age. But who knows what that journey is going to be like? Why not? Why not embrace that experience. Isn’t all that all there is really?
Sometimes I enjoy just playing solitaire and sort of watching video. Is that bad? Wrong? Or, is it better to explore that. Sometimes I enjoy doing learning activities like learning a software related thing, or an art thing, or actually doing something artsy. Sometimes I just want to zone out. But I’m learning myself. But I’m limited by what I can see right now.